Just promoted Healer Hermione Granger hits a serious bump in the road after a one-night stand with Pureblood society’s most eligible bachelor Draco Malfoy results in pregnancy. Can the consequences of their actions bring them together and give them both what they’ve been missing?
Knocked Up AU
Chapters: 1/15 Fandom: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley, Lucius Malfoy/Narcissa Black Malfoy, Mr Granger/Mrs Granger (Harry Potter) Characters: Hermione Granger, Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter, Ginny Weasley, Theodore Nott, Lucius Malfoy, Narcissa Black Malfoy, Andromeda Black Tonks, Ron Weasley Additional Tags: Accidental Pregnancy, Comedy of Errors, BFF Theo, Narcissa wants grandbabies, Healer Hermione Granger, Potioneer Draco Malfoy, Harry and Ginny are sleep deprived, Ron is clueless, magic has a mind of its own, Explicit Sexual Content, HEA
He wanted to scream, to run, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t do this. Bloody fucking hell! He was not one of them. Draco tried to move back into his garden, but the screaming was near constant and he couldn’t seem to find his bearings. His breathing became erratic as the panic he’d been trying so hard to push down consumed him.
Ken’s purpose was to be Barbie’s trophy husband. He barely had any good clothes or shoes to wear.
*boyfriend. trophy boyfriend. occasional fiancé. but barbie was designed to stand alone. she’s had a credit card in her own name since before women could have credit cards in their own names.
All this! Ken was so unnecessary to the Barbie experience that most girls I knew had a bunch of Barbies and like 1 or 2 Kens.
And Mattel knew this because any time they’d make a Barbie group of friends there was usually a 2-1 girl/guy ratio, and the guys were not key to the narrative included with the dolls.
But the idea that he didn’t have good clothes? BAYBEE, are you serious? He was designed to wear things that complimented Barbie. My boy’s wardrobe had to be on point or he wasn’t invited to the party.
Mans even got a tattoo to match hers when she decided to rebel a little.
Didn’t they accidentally make him gay at one point too?
Yeah, twice actually, one time with Allan, which is WHY “there’s only one allan” was such a funny line, he was kens guy friend which came across more like they were gay. Then sometime in the 80’s or 90’s they wanted ken to appeal to the styles of the time but didn’t know what they were doing, accidentally researched GAY club clothes instead of like… straight clothes I guess, and gave Ken an outfit with a lot of mesh and he was wearing a metal ring on a necklace, not knowing that gay guys were wearing *cock rings* on necklaces, not just regular rings, lol. I’m not the MOST knowledgeable in everything about these two incidents but I know of them.
TLDR Allan seemed more like Ken’s gay love interest and also Mattel accidentally made ken walk around wearing a cock ring
In case you haven’t the glory that is Earring Magic Ken.
[ID: A blonde Ken doll with blue eyes wearing a mesh tshirt, a lavender leather vest, a hoop earring in his left ear and a cock ring on a chain around his neck.]
Just to clarify how they messed up so bad with Earring Magic Ken, it becomes much more understandable when you look at the Earring Magic line as a whole and that they were, as ever, trying to match Ken to Barbie.
They ALL had leather + mesh clothes, Mattel just didn’t think about how that looks on a guy (I lavender no less - I have to assume some designer looked at what they were supposed to do and was like “oh honey if you want me to put him in that we’re going all the way”).
And they all had some kind of jewelry with a ring on it, the point of which was to attach charms to it. Who knows why they gave Ken a necklace instead of a belt, but the ring itself was an unfortunate coincidence.
So basically: it wasn’t so much that they were looking at men’s styles and not noticing they were looking at gay men, it was that they were tying to transfer Barbie’s look onto Ken and didn’t stop to think that sometimes women’s fashion on guys looks gay. And unwittingly created a very gay Ken doll.
…..I’m. Not sure the belt would have been better. If I’m being honest.
No hardcore fandom has ever died so quickly and so completely as Veronica Mars. This is the story of its murder.
They should study Veronica Mars in Hollywood.I’m serious.
It’s an incredible story of how to go from “loud, passionate fanbase with its own fandom name that campaigns and advocates constantly for it” to “absolutely zero fucking interest” damn near OVERNIGHT with just ONE epically terri-bad decision.
If you weren’t there, you don’t understand: From 2007 to 2014, the fandom — the “Marshmallows,” as they called themselves — were everywhere in the Internet’s geek spaces, my friends. They routinely beat the drum about the series’ three seasons and its excellence, lamented its cancellation, pushed others to give the show a try, and always - ALWAYS - proudly and loudly called for the series to be revived.
FULL DISCLOSURE/CONFESSION: I’ve not even watched that much Veronica Mars, frankly… ? Yeah, I’m sorry! it does seem pretty good from like the four-or-five hours I’ve experienced firsthand. I just never took the time to sit down with it. Regardless, I find fandoms and their dynamics — both how they operate internally and how they display to others externally — deeply fascinating. And I honestly find them easier to study from the outside than the inside. Like, if I’m IN a fandom, I’m more likely to stay in my corner and ignore places that seem negative. But being on the outside lets me just… absorb what’s out there, looking into every forum without judgment. It’s like studying pop-culture sociology or something? And it helps that I’m very close to some serious(-ly burnt) Marshmallows. It makes it so much easier to find and absorb the gamut of the fandom.
Besides: There is NO fandom story I’ve ever seen that’s anything like what happened to Veronica Mars and the Marshmallows.
(Time to insert a brief explainer for the uninitiated: Veronica Mars was a TV series that aired from 2004-2007 on the now-deceased UPN network wherein Kristen Bell played the titular character, a high school girl whose single dad was a private detective in the fictional community of Neptune, California. She grew up working “unofficially” as his assistant, which meant that she herself was effectively a teenage private detective.
The three core elements of the series were: 1) Veronica investigating each week’s big mystery with plenty of quips and snark, 2) Watching Veronica’s various relationships develop and shift, with most of the focus given to a) her relationship to her father and b) Her romantic pursuits (which began as the Veronica/Duncan/Logan triangle before eventually becoming focused on the slow-burn, off-on Veronica/Logan love story), and 3) The gradual development of that season’s “mytharc” — the overarching BIG MYSTERY that doesn’t get resolved or wrapped until the season finale. So it went over the course of two seasons that took place in high school and the third, shorter season that was at the start of Veronica’s collegiate career.)
Just how big and how passionate were the Marshmallows? WELL! When series creator Rob Thomas (not the Matchbox 20 guy) and star Kristen Bell announced the Kickstarter campaign for the Veronica Mars movie in March 2013, it achieved its heretofore-unprecedented goal of TWO MILLION GODDAMN DOLLARS within less than 12 hours. At that time, it was the biggest Kickstarter goal to ever succeed — and certainly the fastest to reach that kind of height. Fans fell OVER themselves to pay out for it. Hell, my own significant other was DEEP in the tank for VM at the time and invested enough to get multiple t-shirts as backer rewards as well as a disk copy of the movie when it eventually came home.
And AFTER the movie hit in 2014? It was thankfully beloved and embraced! The once-teenage characters were adults who were actually out living on their own and working for a living, but the fandom had grown up with them, so it wasn’t like they were begging for them to stay young students. They embraced Adult Veronica and her new adventure. The fandom rejoiced loudly and continued to be all over the geek side of the Internet… where they, of course, still wanted more. Sure, there were new novels in the aftermath (which were written by the creator of the series), but most of the Marshmallows were calling for more movies or a streaming revival.
And then, at long last… season four was actually announced. And there was much (premature) rejoicing yet again.
Yes, Veronica Mars returned for a fourth season on Hulu in 2019. It was just eight episodes, and it was heavily centered on one season-long mystery instead of sprinkling that amongst a bunch of smaller ones, but it would still feature the same ol’ Veronica. They promised a new, more “adult” mystery/investigation plus a strong focus on Veronica and Logan’s love story.
New Hulu purchased the rights to the first three seasons and hyped up its presence on the platform while marketing the return for the new run. The marketing team played up the most popular quips from the show’s history plus put out TONS of stuff centered on the Logan/Veronica ship to pump up the fans.
The season was dropped all at once using the classic Netflix “binge” model in July 2019. And then… afterwards?
There was a brief explosion of LOUD RAGE from the Marshmallows at what series creator Rob Thomas had to done to burn and spite the fandom and ruin his own goodwill.
SPOILERS FOR SEASON 4: See, at the end of the movie, Veronica and Logan finally entered into a long-term relationship. In season four, they’ve been dating for years, and Logan proposes marriage. But of course there has to be drama/obstacles: In this case, Veronica isn’t sure she’s ready to marry… or capable of being in a marriage. Ah, but of course she eventually realizes how much Logan means to her. The two are married, and, in the season finale… Logan is killed by a car bomb in the penultimate scene. The final scene is a flashfoward to a year later, where Veronica leaves Neptune alone.
For most fandoms, that’d be a memorable point of pain. A big ol’ speed bump that ultimately throws some people off the bus, leaving only the die-hards. But the fact that fans had been invested in this relationship for literally 15 years and that Hulu (and creator Rob Thomas) had heavily marketed the new season as being a big romantic event for the ship… it was too much. Unlike the aftermath of the Star Wars sequels, there was no lingering group of die-hard fans who were open to whatever was next — at least no significant one. I did some Googling and could only find TWO people who still wanted another season.
Funnily enough? Critics LOVED this. Vanity Fair infamously penned an editorial about how Veronica Mars had “finally grown up” with the finale. (The same editorial also featured the author openly hating on Veronica ever being in a relationship because it causes “arrested development” and declaring that the movie – which was acclaimed by both critics AND fans alike, I remind you – was a lame dud. So. The writer must be a reeeaaaal fun person.)
But a series doesn’t live based on critical acclaim, as it turns out. The fandom was murdered overnight. “Marshmallows” stopped appearing in geek spaces online entirely. No one expressed interest in seeing the next season or the next movie. The constant flow of fan AMVs on YouTube and fanfics on AO3 dried up to nothing.
Since 2019 ? Nothing. Chirping crickets. An intensely dedicated fandom of 12 years was just… vaporized.
I’ve never seen anything like it before OR since.
That’s why it’s so fucking fascinating.
So what went wrong?
Creator Rob Thomas was adamant about two things: ONE, the series was intended to be a noir show, which meant there couldn’t be any happiness for its protagonist. And TWO, the death of Logan was necessary to evolve and grow the series.
Thomas thought that having Veronica in a relationship would be holding her back, and that a marriage would absolutely kill the series and leave her stagnant. It never even occurred to him that marriage isn’t the end of a character’s life and growth. It never occurred to him that plenty of drama can be had AFTER someone is married, or that development/growth could be that the characters mature enough to be capable of maintaining a committed relationship. Thomas’ view of his own universe was so myopic that he couldn’t conceive of any possible way that Veronica could still be a private detective involved in life-threatening investigations AND be married at the same time. Futhermore, he felt that fans just wanted Veronica to become a pregnant housewife, which is about as far from what Marshmallows were after as you can get without straight-up killing Veronica and/or Logan. He managed to do the only thing wronger than what he wrongly thought was their insistence.
On top of the above, Rob Thomas only viewed “noir” as a vehicle for total fatalism… despite the fact that many of the most famous noir stories are cynical and full of moral ambiguity, but they still feature a positive outcome. The Big Sleep still has the protagonist get the girl. The Set-Up arguably ends with the happiest possible ending in spite of the beating the hero receives.
Perhaps most importantly? Despite Thomas own insistence that Veronica Mars was always “noir,” the majority of both TV critics and fans did not think that designation ever truly applied. I suspect that’s the reason why Thomas decided to go as dark and fatalistic as possible: He wanted to be noir, and he was being told that he wasn’t. So he went so far into noir that he killed his own most popular property.
He was adamant that it was the only way for the series to grow. But as it turns out, it was instead the only way for the series to permanently end. Without that season four finale, a passionate group of fans would still be begging for more. With it? It’s over. Nobody fucking cares now.
It has been a mighty, mighty, minute since I’ve tried to host a fic writing challenge, but why not??? What’s old is new again, and yadda yadda yadda. Announcing a new challenge: The Logan & Veronica: New Year, New Fic Writing Fest!
We’ll start writing in the first month of the year, and then posting the first week of February. New year! New fic!
Posting Dates:Wednesday, February 1, 2023 through Tuesday, February 7, 2023
Fic! Fan art! Manips! Playlists! Headcanons! Lists of fic recommendations! We want it all!
To kickoff the first year of this challenge, I thought it’d be fun if we take inspiration from some of the fandom’s greatest hits, that is, fics with the most amount of kudos over on AO3.
Please note: I have picked key elements of some of the most kudos’d fics EVER (according to AO3) to inspire these prompts. If you want to do an actual, explicit remix of one of these fics, it’s fandom best practice to reach out to the author in advance. Any questions about that distinction? Just send me an ask or a message!
No time to create? Boy, do I have a suggestion for you! Sometimes fics considered “old” by the fandom can drop off the radar. Why not take the time this week to dole out kudos and/or comments to some older but much loved fics?
Canon divergence, fics inspired by universes you’ve already created, long one-shots, new multichapters that incorporate each plot - all fic writing formats that are completely on the table!
Day 1:Market Fic - inspired by “A Strange New Story Every Time” by gyzym - Farmer’s market? Specialty food store? Mini-market? So many markets…so many possibilities.
Day 2:Non-Linear Storytelling - inspired by “Slipstream” by @cheshirecatstrut. - Any way of telling a story where the events are not told in complete chronological order.
Day 3:Hurt/Comfort and/or Domesticity inspired by “With Me” by @bryrosea and “Same Old Song” by @susanmichelin - You can treat these as two separate prompts, or, as both of these fics do in an expert manner, incorporate them together
Day 4:Epistolary inspired by “Three Emails Sent Across Continents (And Possible Five Text Messages)” by Care and “Wingspan” by @theawkwardterrier - Journals, letters, texts, etc. They can provide the full text or simply feature as one component.
Day 5:Lawyer!Veronica inspired by “A Better Claim” by @best-laid-plaids - She spent all that time and energy on getting that degree - it seems a shame we fic writers don’t put it to good use!
Day 6:“I love a man in uniform” inspired by “Metal Under Tension” by @machawicket - Not saying it has to be a military uniform…though that option is, of course, there.
Day 7:s1 canon fix-it or s1 canon divergence inspired by “Sometimes” by @mysilverylining and “Time, Make it Go Faster or Just Rewind” by @kmd0107 - We’re all in agreement that s1 is the most complete season of this show, correct? That doesn’t mean that the what-if possibilities are in any way limited, though!
So, What are the rules? There aren’t really any, but in summation:
Look at the prompts for each day.
Post them on tumblr or AO3.
Tag them (on Tumblr and/or AO3) with #2023 LV New Year and/or add to the AO3 collection.
Villains in Addams Family movies go to really unnecessary lengths to defraud them of the family fortune. These people just give it away on whims all the time. If I just walked into the house and started wearing their clothes and spending their money, they wold start introducing me as Cousin Intruder and forget there was ever a time I didn’t live with them.
There’s a whole plotline in the Addams Family Musical where Morticia and Gomez realize at the same time they each thought Grandmama was the other one’s parent and no one knows who the hell she is, and literally nothing changes because, well, she’s Grandmama now.
Gomez’s life’s ambition is to be a failed investor, just walk up to him and say “I’ve got this crazy idea, it’ll probably never work, but I need 5 million dollars to try” and he’ll just shout “brilliant!” Then sword fight you and give you the money
And because it’s Gomez whatever you do with the money will end up outrageously profitable
i find it impossibly funny that this is the canon reason for the adam family fortune. gomez desperately wants to be a failed investor and lose it all, but every single unhinged thing he throws money at *somehow* ends up becoming wildly successful
The last thing he remembers is holding Rey, feeling his consciousness slip through his grasp. Next thing he knows he woke up here. Where monsters and nightmares roam the planet. The only way to get back is to survive.
That is until he met her. Hanna. She doesn’t deserve to be in this place. She’s too pure and good. She reminds him of Rey, almost too much. He feels this innate desire to protect her, like they’re bonded somehow. He would sacrifice his life to keep her safe, just as he did for Rey.
He needs to learn more about his connection to this girl. And he needs to find them a way out.
